“I Thought I’d Never Have Sex Again”
The Quiet Fear That Nearly Broke Me After I Left My Marriage
When I ended my 31-year relationship, people said I was brave.
They said I’d feel free.
But honestly? I was terrified.
Not just of being alone.
Not just of starting over.
But of this one fear I didn’t know how to say out loud:
"What if I never have sex again?"
That thought kept me up at night. It sat in my chest like a rock. It made me question everything — my worth, my desirability, my future.
Nobody talks about this part.
And what I learned is that to your nervous system, heartbreak and danger feel exactly the same.
Anxiety is pain — just dressed differently.
That’s why you can’t sleep.
Why your chest aches.
Why you feel like you’re on high alert even when you’re safe.
And unless you ground yourself — unless you soothe your body first — those fears take over. They start to sound like truth.
But they’re not.
Here are the exact grounding practices that helped me go from spiraling in fear to slowly, gently coming back home to myself.
These aren’t hacks. These are lifelines.
1. Journaling the Fear Out
The thought I had over and over was:
"No one will ever want me again."
So I wrote it down. Unfiltered. Unedited. As raw as it came.
And the more I wrote, the more I realised:
It wasn’t just about sex. It was about being seen.
It was about feeling alive. Wanted. Important.
Try this prompt:
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What am I most afraid of losing?
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What part of me am I scared no one will love again?
Write it. Let it out. You’ll feel lighter.
2. Breath to Break the Spiral
Anxiety had me holding my breath without realising it.
I’d lie in bed, unable to breathe deeply, feeling like I was broken.
Box breathing changed everything.
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Inhale for 4
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Hold for 4
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Exhale for 4
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Hold for 4
It only takes a couple of minutes to calm your system.
Tell your body: You're safe. You're still here.
3. Mirror Work: Reclaiming Worth
At first, I couldn’t even look at myself without flinching.
But something in me said: Try.
So I stood in front of the mirror. Hand on heart. Eyes meeting eyes.
And I whispered:
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I am enough.
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I am still beautiful.
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I am allowed to want love again.
It felt weird. Then it felt warm. Then I cried. Then I started to believe it.
4. Grounding Through Touch & Movement
The first time I danced alone after the breakup, I wept.
Not out of sadness — but because for the first time, I felt free.
I started to stretch. Breathe. Walk barefoot. Put on music that made me feel sexy, even if I wasn’t trying to be.
It reminded me: I’m still here. I’m still worthy. I can still feel good.
Your body remembers how to come back. Let it.
5. Let People Hold You (Even When You Want to Hide)
I was used to being strong. The helper. The one who kept it all together.
But the real healing started when I let someone witness my mess.
I let friends check in. I got support. I stopped pretending I was fine.
Let someone in. Let them hold space for you.
You don’t need a solution. Just safety.
Final Thoughts: You Are Becoming
The thought that I’d never be wanted again nearly broke me.
But here’s what actually happened:
I found myself. I touched my own heart. I started becoming the woman I always needed.
So if you’re navigating that same fear — the fear of never being wanted, touched, or loved again — I want you to know:
💛 You’re not alone.
💛 You’re not broken.
💛 You’re becoming.
And if you want a gentle guide to start coming home to yourself...
👉 Download my Reset & Rebuild Starter Toolkit
It’s free. It’s soulful. It’s yours.
Because the real question isn’t: Will someone ever love me again?
It’s: Can I love myself enough to begin again?
The answer is yes. And it starts right here.